Roll the dice

In my initial planning of this piece, I really wanted to understand what message I wanted to give and why I felt I needed to write. Did I want to write this so that the people coming behind me can have more clarity about their endeavours? Did I want to write in some ways to convince myself of this decision? Did I want to write in the hope that in the midst of these words I would find the essence and assurance one so longs to have when making a transition? In all honesty, I think it’s a mixture of all of the above. I’ve learnt to forgive myself for not always having pure intentions — part of my grappling with myself over the past few years has meant that I’ve come to terms with the fact that our intentions as humans will always be weaved with a myriad of intentions. The good, the broken, the ambitious and the reluctant. An element of goodness sure but also an element of our insecurities and vices. I’m comfortable with that. The beauty of humanity is that great virtue can always simultaneously be found in the midst of great brokenness. Even crooked sticks can draw straight lines.

I’m often still so surprised when people approach me and let me know that in some ways have been encouraged or inspired by my example. At first, I would underplay it as a means to avoid an awkward reaction I had not yet been able to fully embrace. But more recently I’ve come to accept this interesting responsibility. I guess it’s the social…